Yo Mamma Jokes! Give me um =]

1. Yo Mamma is so fat she makes FreeWilly Look Aneretix.
2. Yo Mamma is so stupid she traded her car for gas money.
3. Yo Mamma is so stupid she threw a rock at the ground and MISSED!
4. Yo Mamma is so fat she sweat bacon grease.
5. Yo Mamma is like a Racecar, she does 500 laps a day!
6. Yo Mamma is so Poor when i grabed the paper plates she said "Dont use the fine china."
7. Yo Mamma is so fat when you smack her leg you can ride the waves!
8. Yo Mamma is so fat your dad rolled over her 3times and was still on top of her!
9. Yo Mamma is stupid her favorite color is clear.
10. Yo Mamma is so stupid she tripped over a telephone cord.
11. Yo Mamma is so fat that the only way to get her out of the door is butter her sides and put a twinkie on the other end.
12. Yo Mamma's teeth is so yellow they shine brighter then the sun.
13. Yo Mamma is so fat she could play pool with the solar system.
14. Yo Mamma is so fat when she passed by 4 T.V. commericals had already passed.
15. Yo Mamma is so fat her measurements are 36, 24, 36 and that is left leg!
16. Yo Mamma is so stupid she locked her keys in the motorcycle!
17. Yo Mamma's house is so small we ordered a large pizza, and had to eat it outside!
18. Yo Mamma is so nastly she has to poor saltwater down her pants to keep the crabs fresh.
19. Yo Mamma is so stupid she got fired from the M&Ms Factory for throwing away all the W's.
20. Yo Mamma is so fat when your daddy said it was chilli outside she grabbed a spoon!
21. Yo Mamma is so damn skinny that she has to run around the shower to get wet!
22. Yo Mamma's teeth are so yellow that her tonsules have sunburn.
23. Yo Mamma's lips are so big that chapstick had to make a spray!
24. Yo Mamma is so stupid she sat on the T.V. and watched the couch.
25. Yo Mamma is so stupid she got locked in the grocery store and straved to death.
26. Yo Mamma is so fat she jumped in the ocean and a whale popped up and started singing "we are family, even though your bigger then me"


got anymore ADD Yours =]


~Leader of Luminou$
-Travis

A gay guy walks into a bar and ask the bartender, "Can I use the washroom"
The bartender says "I do not let gay guys use my washroom, ok only this one time, and I do not want to see you again.

Another gay guy walks into a bar and ask the bartender, "Can I use the washroom"
The bartender says "I do not let gay guys use my washroom, ok only this one time, and I do not want to see you again.

A Gay Clown guy walks into a bar and ask the bartender, "Can I use the washroom"
The bartender says "I do not let gay guys use my washroom, ok only this one time, and I do not want to see you again.

15 minutes later, a gay gay comes out.
Bartender asks the gay guy, "What where you doing in the washroom."
The gay guy says, "I was blowing bubbles"

15 minutes later, another gay gay comes out.
Bartender asks the gay guy, "What where you doing in the washroom."
The gay guy says, "I was blowing bubbles"

Then the gay clown guy comes out.
Bartender asks the gay guy, "What where you doing in the washroom, wait, let me guess. you were blowing bubbles"
The gay clown guy says "No?? I am Bubbles"

Too Smart For Grade One

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her
students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"

Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the
3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd
grade too!"

Ms. Brooks have had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the
Principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he
would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions
he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed. Harry was
brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to
take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Harry: "9".

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Harry: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader
should know. The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think
Harry can go to the 3rd grade."

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions." The
principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"

Harry, after a moment: "Legs."

Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

The principal wondered, why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: "Pockets."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Harry: "Pants"

Ms. Brooks: "What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
and delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"

Harry: "Coconut."

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and
sticky?"

The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the
answer, Harry said, "Bubble gum."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down
and a dog do on three legs?"

Harry: "Shake hands."

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means
a lot of heat and excitement?"

Harry: "Fire truck"

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry
in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven wrong!

There's this guy walking down the street and suddenly he needs to take a shit.
He stops and looks for the closest building.
He's running towards the building but he doesn't make it.
He see's this bum sleeping by the building and takes his pants off, and takes a dump in his pants.

He still needs to take a shit and he goes on the 2nd floor to look for a bathroom.
he couldn't find a bathroom, but instead he found a baby cradle and took a dump inside.

He still needs to take a shit so he goes to the 3rd floor to find a bathroom.
Instead he finds a newspaper and completes his shit on the newspaper.
After he's done taking a shit he opens a window and throws the paper out.

The next day, he buys a newspaper and starts reading the headlines.
A homeless guy shits right through his underwear!
A baby takes a shit that weigh's more than him
A falling newspaper kills a pedestrian.

Here's one of my fav's xP

Memo to all students:

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity
From students, it will be our policy to keep all students well
taught through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING
(S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give our students more S.H.I.T. than any
other school. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T.
on the course, please see your lecturer. You will be immediately placed
at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our lecturers are especially skilled
at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Students who don't know S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL
EDUCATIONAL EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to
take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EDUCATIONAL ATTITUDE
TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since our lecturers took S.H.I.T. before they
graduated, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, as they are all full of
S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job
teaching others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING
LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.).

For students who are intending to pursue a career in management and
consultancy, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL
OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.). This course
emphasizes on how to manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF
TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).


Thank you,

BOSS IN GENERAL
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)

Why can't you play uno with mexicans? Because they take all the green cards.

Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

Why do squirrels swim on their backs? To keep their nuts dry.

Why did Hitler kill himself? Because the gas bill came.

There's a mexican and a black man in a car. Who's Driving? The Cop

WTF??

i normally only say "JE MOEDER", wich means "your mom" in Dutch..
im to lazy to say more